Tied or Untied

July 14, 2010 ashleyk21790

I have been going back and forth with this idea for a long time now. Even before Tori was born. Should I get my tubes tied?? Or should I just wait and see what the future holds?? I am sure of what I want to do now. Tie my tubes. There are no other options for me. I don’t want to go on all different kinds of birth control that I have to remember to pop a pill or go to the doctor and get a shot. And I don’t want my weight to keep going up. That’s one of the reasons why I won’t go back on birth control because I don’t want to gain anymore weight and I don’t want an “oops” to happen. Tori was not an “oops” she was more of a ” I want to make my boyfriend happy”. I had goals and dreams of traveling the world and becoming something great and I know that I can still do that but it will just have to happen later in life.

I love my daughter don’t get me wrong. But if she hadn’t come when she did then there wouldn’t be any kids or grandkids coming from me. I didn’t want to have kids. I wanted to be able to go and do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted without having to check-in with anyone. But all of that is changed now which I think is good because she keeps me in check. She makes me realize that I have to slow down and think about my decisions before I act on them.

So, the final decision that I have made for myself is to get my tubes tied. I don’t want anymore kids. I want to enjoy the one that I have and I don’t want to have to start all over again with a brand new baby now or ever. Kids are so much work but so rewarding. It feels good to know that people think that your baby is smart, beautiful, and well-behaved. But it’s a lot of work to keep them smart and to maintain their behavior. Nothing about raising a child is easy and especially when you don’t get as much help as you had thought you were going to get. That issue is a whole new post on a day that Caleb pisses me off, LOL. But I have thought about this since I had found out that I was pregnant with Tori. I know that I am a great mom to her but that’s all that I can handle…I have to be honest with myself. Plus, I am not financially stable to take care of any more babies. That’s the one thing that I don’t understand that people don’t think of….if you can’t afford or get by with the situation that you are in now then why have more kids? Yes, babies are cute and sweet but they are also smelly, loud, and make a path of destruction where ever they go.

I am very thankful, grateful, appreciative of the family that I have that supports me and helps me with my daughter. I couldn’t imagine what someone women go through with no help or support from their family. I appreciate everything that they do for me. Everything from helping me watch her, help me financially, and help me have a home when I needed it. I would be nothing without them. I think that’s why I ignore some of the things that I don’t see eye to eye with them and they ignore about 95% of the things that irritate them about me

So, my decision is that Ashley is NOT having anymore kids. Now adoption on the other hand is something that I would love to do. My aunt who I consider my mom took me under her wing when I was eleven and I hope that one day I can do that for a child who has no parents. I would want to give them a loving home to grow up in. But, they have to be potty trained and out of that baby stage, LOLOL. You never know what the future holds. And in my case I hope everything good and positive

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